![]() They said problematic stories can often fall into three types: victim stories, villain stories, and helpless stories. The next several chapters talk about the ways in which we interpret data and create stories which shape our emotions and interpretations of these stories. Recognize the purpose behind the strategy. The authors encouraged the use of the CRIB method: I appreciated, in particular, the direction in helping to move a conversation to a safe place for all parties involved. Am I in this to be right? To win? For revenge? How can I check the potential for me to fall into the sucker’s choice of “either/or” thinking and move instead to “and” thinking.Ĭhapters 4-5 talk about how to analyze situations both in terms of their content and their conditions to evaluate how to best situate a conversation for the best chance of being successful. What is my motive going into this conversation? What do I really want? And then checking your own heart and making sure that your motives are directed in a pure course. The authors rightly point out in chapter three that approaching a crucial conversation well has to begin with our own hearts. Here is the most concise summary I can come up with: in the midst of crucial conversations, check your heart, listen well, and respond thoughtfully. The book is therefore very content rich and not easy to reduce to a simple technique or phrase. Who couldn't improve in their ability to navigate these conversations? Unlike a lot of books in a similar genre, the authors present several different tools in the course of the book to help navigate these conversations. That’s what is so difficult about these turning-point moments: failure is easy, success is hard.Ĭrucial Conversations is aimed at equipping the reader with a number of tools to use to navigate high pressure and high consequence conversations. In fact, maybe you failed by turning tail and running. Your failure in the midst of crucial conversations might not be as dramatic. ![]() It was one of my most significant moments of failure as a pastor and a man. Trying to scramble for control of the situation I treaded water verbally, first succeeding, then flailing, and then failing monumentally, shifting from mediator to combatant in one fell swoop. ![]() Pointed accusations flew like snowballs across the narrow distance between the individuals. ![]()
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